It has come to my attention that I'm a lousy friend.

It's true. I don't make the effort to be a friend. Many people can testify to that...

I don't know exactly what it is... The bottom line is I have problems. Intimacy issues? Complacency? Laziness? Self-reliance? Pride? I can blame it on a whole list of things...

Over the years, I've probably hurt a lot of people by neglecting these friendships. These relationships have probably withered away and lost meaning and purpose... Some people might not even consider me to be a friend anymore.

But there are those individuals who will refuse to give up on me. And it is these individuals who show me a hint of what undeserved love is really like.

I wish I could be like these people...

The truth is that somewhere in the depths of my heart, I've prematurely accepted my losses as if they were inevitable. I'm a pessimist, and a dreadful one at that... I'm skeptical about what will happen in the coming years with friends, near and far...

In the meantime, I hope friends can accept me for who I am. I hope I can grow to be a true and genuine friend. Maybe, one day, we can pick up where we left off...